The Nihilistic Network Management Model: An Optimal Approach to Cybersecurity

Dr. Edgart Notting1, and Anonymous2

1 Department of Metaphysical Informations Technology, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

2 Foundation for Anarchist Computer Science, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA, USA 

Abstract

In Network Management, the administrator must balance performance, convenience, flexibility and security to provide a reliable service to their client applications. The classical and enlightenment era network management models have been shown time and time again to fall prey to fast developing and adaptive malware. Before malware was advanced, such classical methods provided an effective simplistic approach to maintaining the performance benchmarks that network clients have grown to expect. Unfortunately, under the complex cyber security environment, only extremely rigid religious fundamentalist network management methods remain secure at the price of strict configuration management and slower performance. Using a new Nihilistic Network Management Model (N2M2), extreme metaphysical and epistemological skepticism are utilized to create secure networks while keeping configuration management flexible and expedite network performance to evolve into an  übernetwork. The N2M2 is shown in this paper to be 98% more likely to prevent a phishing attempt while maintaining performance benchmarks with extremely flexible network policies. 

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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