You prescribe your friend drugs (you’re not an M.D.)

close up photography of person in handcuffs

You prescribe your roommate Tranquilix and she starts to do better. She has less and less delusions surrounding her desire for her father or to resurrect her dead hamster through a paradoxical decomposition. About a week and a half into her taking Tranquilix, she starts developing night terrors and shortness of breath. She goes to the hospital to get checked out by a real doctor.

That night you are on the couch watching TV when there’s a huge boom at the door, everything goes completely white and loud. You try to stand up but fall on your feet in confusion. Before you recover your senses, a knee pins you to the ground and handcuffs your hands behind your back.

“IS THIS YOUR PRESCRIPTION!” a voice questions through a gas mask behind a huge swat team.

“Well yess,” your respond confused.

“You’re under arrest for impersonating a Dr. and prescribing controlled substances.

“What?”

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in court. You have the right to talk to a lawyer for advice before we ask you any questions. You have the right to have a lawyer with you during questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without a lawyer present, you have the right to stop answering at any time” they recite.

Congratulations, you stopped Sarah from resurrecting her hamster, but you went to jail for impersonating a Dr. Apparently Tranquilix has been used as the key ingredient to a dangerous party drug easily synthesized with ingredients from Pepto Bismol, and Tylenol the kids are calling Requiem in the streets. Some laws went into place and now you’re caught in a new set of laws to get this street drug under control.

Try again?

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Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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