Despite Great White Sharks wide popularity in modern culture as cold blooded killers, thanks Steven Spielberg, there is extremely little we know about how they make baby sharks. While some first hand accounts exist, detailed video evidence still alludes scientists. Only recently was the action captured and documented by photographers for the first time!
Featured image: Two Great White Sharks on a date Images Edited IFERREIRO, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Hermanus Backpackers, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
1. Shark Mating in College
Not to most people’s surprise, most great white sharks meet and begin mating in college! It’s the first time they’re away from living with their parents and it’s time to get experimental. In between stress about blood detection, sharkonomics and fish hunting class, many sharks easily fall into the fins of their first lover. Some mate for life afterwards. Others, have unexpected kids and drop out.
2. Building Alliances Across Kingdoms
Sometimes shark mating isn’t just about making babies. A lot of times it’s about burying the hatchet and making peace across shark kingdoms. When the armies of the McAlan clan hammerheads were at the sea trench gate of the Mid Atlantic Great Whites of North Umbria, needless violence was averted. The Great White King William the Bites made a deal by betrothing his daughter Sarah to the McAlan clan prince Roktho the defiler. Later that night she was defiled.
3. Meeting Cute while Hunting
Sometimes great white shark mating is planned out and a lot of times it’s completely accidental. Some cursory research suggests almost 30% of great white shark mating relationships begin from just two bumping into each other going for the same seagull, fish or sea lion.
4. At the Weekly Church of Jaws Worship
Some great white sharks are way more old fashioned than the rest. Those tend to meet at church. Many sharkologists do say that the share of great whites, while believing in some higher power, are not attending church as regularly. Despite the dwindling church of jaws attendance numbers, it’s shown to be a very popular way for great white sharks to mate even today. After a passage is read from the book of jaws and some hymns are played on the water organ, it’s the best time for mingling. With everyone’s family in attendance, it’s a great way to wrinkle through any awkwardness before doing the deed in the deep.
5. Shark Mating Craigslist Ads
Some Great White Sharks are not that conservative. The sharks that find themselves on the kinkier side of the spectrum often post Craigslist ads. Many find that their desires, while maybe not explicitly condemned in the book of jaws, taboo in church of jaws communities. Most great whites rarely admit it in public but a study found that over 67% of males are aroused by smelling a female sharks Precaudal pit. Another found that even 30% fantasize about sucking on another sharks Dorsal fin. Contrary to conception in the media, that data was even collected from both sex’s of sharks.
6. Social Clubs
Many adult sharks find it too awkward to talk to strange sharks. Most of the adults who did not find their mates in church or college meet mates at social clubs. Posted on meet up sites, these lonely souls can bond over hobbies such as reading, swimming 10km before a drink or even knitting. In these groups great whites can establish a connection with their mate before even asking them out on a date-date and not just a hangout.
7. Pheromone Body Spray
One of the newest discovered methods Great White Sharks mate with each other was found off the coast of New Zealand. Emanating off of a viral male shark was a blend of fish blood and synthetic pheromones. Divers were sent down cages to search the abnormality to find a smaller sized male spraying an aerosol can of the pheromone-blood mixture underneath his Pectoral fins before being chased down by a horde of horny female great whites from miles away.
8. Reconnecting at a High School Reunion
One last attempt at mating comes at Great White’s school reunions. If a shark is unlucky in love up to 10-20 years after finishing high school, the desperation becomes attracted to desperation. Throw at least two desperate sharks together in a gymnasium with a few drink tickets and just watch those sloppy fireworks from the old flames.
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