8 Ways Great White Sharks Mate in the Wild!

Posted byB McGrawPosted inUncategorizedTags:, , , , , ,
Great White Shark Date

Despite Great White Sharks wide popularity in modern culture as cold blooded killers, thanks Steven Spielberg, there is extremely little we know about how they make baby sharks. While some first hand accounts exist, detailed video evidence still alludes scientists. Only recently was the action captured and documented by photographers for the first time!

Featured image: Two Great White Sharks on a date Images Edited IFERREIRO, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Hermanus Backpackers, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

1. Shark Mating in College

Sharks meeting mates at college Edited Images from Equationaudio, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons Goonsnick, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons Ananian, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons Terry Goss, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Not to most people’s surprise, most great white sharks meet and begin mating in college! It’s the first time they’re away from living with their parents and it’s time to get experimental. In between stress about blood detection, sharkonomics and fish hunting class, many sharks easily fall into the fins of their first lover. Some mate for life afterwards. Others, have unexpected kids and drop out.

2. Building Alliances Across Kingdoms

Royal shark marriage in between the Great Whites of North Umbria and the Hammerhead McAlan clan. Images edited: Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons, su neko, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons, nha.library, No restrictions, via Wikimedia Commons

Sometimes shark mating isn’t just about making babies. A lot of times it’s about burying the hatchet and making peace across shark kingdoms. When the armies of the McAlan clan hammerheads were at the sea trench gate of the Mid Atlantic Great Whites of North Umbria, needless violence was averted. The Great White King William the Bites made a deal by betrothing his daughter Sarah to the McAlan clan prince Roktho the defiler. Later that night she was defiled.

3. Meeting Cute while Hunting

Two sharks meeting cute while going after. a seagull Images Edited Ed Dunens, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons Bernard DUPONT from FRANCE, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons Bruce, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons Rangan Datta Wiki, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Sometimes great white shark mating is planned out and a lot of times it’s completely accidental. Some cursory research suggests almost 30% of great white shark mating relationships begin from just two bumping into each other going for the same seagull, fish or sea lion.

4. At the Weekly Church of Jaws Worship

Congregation meeting Sunday morning for church of jaws sermon in the cathedral of the great barrier reefs Images edited Dietmar Rabich / Wikimedia Commons / “Dülmen, St.-Viktor-Kirche, Innenansicht, Altar — 2018 — 0552-6” / CC BY-SA 4.0, White et al., CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Some great white sharks are way more old fashioned than the rest. Those tend to meet at church. Many sharkologists do say that the share of great whites, while believing in some higher power, are not attending church as regularly. Despite the dwindling church of jaws attendance numbers, it’s shown to be a very popular way for great white sharks to mate even today. After a passage is read from the book of jaws and some hymns are played on the water organ, it’s the best time for mingling. With everyone’s family in attendance, it’s a great way to wrinkle through any awkwardness before doing the deed in the deep.

5. Shark Mating Craigslist Ads

Common Craigslist ad seen in communities of shark infested water

Some Great White Sharks are not that conservative. The sharks that find themselves on the kinkier side of the spectrum often post Craigslist ads. Many find that their desires, while maybe not explicitly condemned in the book of jaws, taboo in church of jaws communities. Most great whites rarely admit it in public but a study found that over 67% of males are aroused by smelling a female sharks Precaudal pit. Another found that even 30% fantasize about sucking on another sharks Dorsal fin. Contrary to conception in the media, that data was even collected from both sex’s of sharks.

6. Social Clubs

Sharks meeting mates at a book club in the public library Images edited: MarAlliance2018, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Matthew T Rader, https://matthewtrader.com, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Stadtbibliothek Erlangen, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Many adult sharks find it too awkward to talk to strange sharks. Most of the adults who did not find their mates in church or college meet mates at social clubs. Posted on meet up sites, these lonely souls can bond over hobbies such as reading, swimming 10km before a drink or even knitting. In these groups great whites can establish a connection with their mate before even asking them out on a date-date and not just a hangout.

7. Pheromone Body Spray

Discovered Blood Thirst shark body spray found off the coast of New Zealand Images edited: Anarchyte, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

One of the newest discovered methods Great White Sharks mate with each other was found off the coast of New Zealand. Emanating off of a viral male shark was a blend of fish blood and synthetic pheromones. Divers were sent down cages to search the abnormality to find a smaller sized male spraying an aerosol can of the pheromone-blood mixture underneath his Pectoral fins before being chased down by a horde of horny female great whites from miles away.

8. Reconnecting at a High School Reunion

Sharks meeting old friends and old flames at a high school reunion Images Edited: Tomgunnells, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons, Elias Levy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons, No machine-readable author provided. PJ assumed (based on copyright claims)., CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

One last attempt at mating comes at Great White’s school reunions. If a shark is unlucky in love up to 10-20 years after finishing high school, the desperation becomes attracted to desperation. Throw at least two desperate sharks together in a gymnasium with a few drink tickets and just watch those sloppy fireworks from the old flames.

If you enjoyed this clickbait please like, share, and subscribe with your email, our twitter handle (@JABDE6), our facebook group here, or the Journal of Immaterial Science Subreddit for weekly content.

If you REEEEALY love the content, for the equivalent price of a Chipotle Burrito, chips and Queso, you could buy our new book Et Al with over 20 hand picked Jabde articles for your reading pleasure, it’s the perfect Christmas/Birthday gift for confusing your unsuspecting family members! Order on amazon here: https://packt.link/at4bw Please rate and review so that you can brag to your friends about having opinions or showcase your excellent taste in reading material!

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: