You don’t drink the energy drink

The Hot N’ Ready’s come in and they hit you HARD. After about twenty minutes of coding, you pass out only to wake up with a dry mouth. You drink some water at the water fountain and go to the bathroom to see obscene graffiti drawn on your face, wonder who did that. Laughing in the hallway suggests it may have been Big Balls and his friends.

You’ll have to go with the energy drink next time. Finding your way back to your office you start working again. There’s a GOTO that points somewhere odd in the code. You trace it to find some ancient COBOL code that you can’t quite decode. It’s absolutely strange looking, like hieroglyphics strange.

Now that you know your coworkers you ask some over for help.

“Hey Big Balls, you seen this bit?”

Big balls, pops his head in, laughs at your face graffiti, and looks at your screen. “Oh yeah, I wouldn’t mess with that bit. Some dude looked into it the other day, that code is ancient voodoo, don’t mess with it. That guy went crazy, and we never saw him again. I also heard it’s cursed.”

Intrigued, but still a little groggy after waking up, you wonder what to do. What do you do?

Leave it be, listen to Big Balls.

Look into it, code can’t be cursed. What’s a little poking around gonna hurt.

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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