That’s the spirit! Here’s the database!

“I love how into it you are, I see that you believe in the mission! I’ll give you full access to every aspect of our government, you have full autonomy to turn off any pipe of money. Look for any sort of fraud, especially if it’s for anything DEI or woke related. We have explicit orders to cut any of that, no matter what.”

You are shown to an office. There is a white board with scribbled notes about transitioning data before the takeover that you can’t erase over, even with cleaning solution and some cheap paper towels from the bathroom. You are given a laptop and set up by an IT dude who shows you your email which has a set of links to multiple national databases, code repos, and how to access them.

After a couple hours of setting up accounts and then another few fenagling around with the data bases, you manage to output some massive csv files tracking all Americans in the system. You start to write some quick python scripts to look for some obvious cases of fraud. Maybe there are duplicates in the social security number database.

Wait, cut off funding is that legal? Don’t I need a lawyer for that?

Look into social Security number duplicates

Keep looking, maybe we can find some obvious dead people or something.

Disappoint twitter lord Elon and give up  

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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