Congenital and Parent-of-Origin Prediction Factors and Risks of Baby Jazziness in Americana Live Births

Joseph “Baby Hands” McGraw^1,2 

¹Department of Baby Catching and Internal Fetal Medicine, Cranberry-Lemon University Medical School, Pittsburgh, PA, USA

²Lead Vocalist, Piano Player, Drummer, Bass Player, and Producer of the Joe McGraw Experience

Abstract

In this paper, we’re talking about jazzy babies. The association with the American jenotype and malformations of the jazz-rhythmic thorax glands is a well-studied risk leaving many parents wondering whether or not their baby will be jazzy enough for their five piece ensemble. While certain populations have been measured as 64% Jazzy on the Brubeck scale [1], there has been a decrease in jenetic jazz alleles across all demographic groups. While some believe that these factors may be caused by a change in cultural musical taste, many genetic predictors suggest a drop in jazzy-jenes which allow American children to follow a 5-6 Mixolydian swing beat with a flat eighth. In this study, we will provide two parental prediction factors measured in 813 families and three genetic prediction factors which shows up to a 1.42 factor (CI 95% 1.30,1.54; P=4.57×10^-7^-7) increase in jazziness. 

Keywords:  Jazzy-Jenomics, Monk Jene, Jazzy Babies, Rhythmic Thorax Abnormality, Paternal-Jazz Risk Ratios 

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