Start making diagrams with your food

roasted turkey on white ceramic plate

You can’t give up, you don’t know why you care so much but you must properly explain your research if it’s going to take all night. Words and lectures might not do it, but a well crafted diagram just might do the trick.

You take an empty plate and start spooning over a healthy dollop of mashed potatoes and stuffing. You start creating lines across the plate with the food before presenting it to your family.

“Okay, so imagine this is your function and you want to fit something to it,” you make sure not to tilt it too far in one direction as the function began spilling off onto the fine dinner cloth. Next you start taking pickles, and strategic pieces of turkey which you think might pass as a wavelet function. Placing and cutting them strategically, you begin making the shapes fit along side your function.

“Now imagine if we add up multiples of these pieces of turkey translated and transformed across mashed potato space. Now!” You point to a new shape drawn with stuffing “Imagine that this is in the frequency domain here, now our turkey wavelets look like this,” you began filling your stuffing frequency domain with pickles.

“Do you see now, we have to figure out the most efficient combination of pickles or turkey to match our function, do ya get it now?”

“Yeah, but I don’t get where the waves are,” your confused mom replied.

“I liked it better when you were working with the robots a few years ago, those were some cool videos,” your dad added. “There’s a lot of business with robots, they’re automating everything, did you know, they completely automated the burger place down the street. The whole thing.”

What do you do?

Try something else

Stop and eat some turkey

The mashed potatoes and stuffing weren’t making an adequate diagram, look for a white board

Published by B McGraw

B McGraw has lived a long and successful professional life as a software developer and researcher. After completing his BS in spaghetti coding at the department of the dark arts at Cranberry Lemon in 2005 he wasted no time in getting a masters in debugging by print statement in 2008 and obtaining his PhD with research in screwing up repos on Github in 2014. That's when he could finally get paid. In 2018 B McGraw finally made the big step of defaulting on his student loans and began advancing his career by adding his name on other people's research papers after finding one grammatical mistake in the Peer Review process.

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