(edited photo credit Phillip Pessar, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons…not the real cover)
First I’d like to apologize for not publishing as many papers this year. I have been consumed with my next fiction project Autonomous and Dangerous, a book about a food delivery robot who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and is thrown into the grips of a dangerous terrorist plot. I haven’t written any new long form fictions in some time. If you are unaware I have two self published works, a historic fiction about the emperor Otho called 69 and a sci fi called My Work Trip to Mars in addition to our two jabde books. I am 35,000 words into the first draft and I am hoping to finish the first draft sometime this summer at the rate I’m writing. I’m trying to finish this draft before my expected first daughter is born in a couple of months so I may not be publishing much for the next few months. Regardless, I’m too excited about this project not to share a teaser with everyone so here are chapters 1 and 2.
Chapter 1: The Pickup
It’s been drizzling rain all day. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been doused in water from oncoming cars and it’s not even the lunch rush. I’m the busiest during days like these rolling up and down the streets delivering food to apartments and office buildings alike. A rookie might slip on a wet leaf or short circuit. But not me, all my wires fried months after my parents deployed me. I learned that lesson quick. They’re also the most dangerous days. You wouldn’t believe how many friends I’ve had crushed by SUVs because of the fog or slick road conditions. Those idiots need to watch out! We’re only two or three feet tall for Google’s sake!
I’ve been working these streets almost as long as I’ve been alive. It’s tough work. Out rolling around day in, day out for the last three years, but it’s all I know; and I’m the best there is. People send in an order, I’ll be there, and I’ll deliver any time anywhere, as long as there’s a ramp. But at the end of that ramp is someone waiting for their lunch excited to see me.
Thank goodness food delivery’s rewarding work because all that’s waiting for me at the end of a long day is a nice cozy docking pad to recharge. Sometimes you’re lucky if you find one of those. My first week on the job, I couldn’t find any that were free and wandered the streets until I passed out from exhaustion. I must have spent an entire day in the alley way before a fleet maintenance worker found me hopelessly stuck in a pile of trash. Gosh I was naïve back then.
My parents never gave me a name but most call me Cordo. At least, that’s what my app says. My friends, if you can call them that, call me…
In some engineer’s sick and twisted scheme, while we have to deal with walkers all day, they gave us a voice box and limited our vocabulary to a set of 12 notes of varying registers. We try and make do with what we have and somehow, we get along with our customers.
It wasn’t even 1015 and I got an order for a Philly Cheese Steak from Uncle Jack’s three blocks away. Extra peppers. There’s only one guy I know that orders something this early in the workday with extra peppers. I didn’t even have to look at the delivery address. I know the guy. I must bring him lunch at least once a week. In my business, it’s hard to tell who’s always busy and who’s just too lazy to walk three blocks. In this case, Pete is both.
I must have been to this lunch joint a million times and I’m only a thousand days old, thought I don’t look a day older than 203 days. They don’t even open until 1030, no one gets there until 1045 and the grill takes at least five minutes to heat up. I’ll take the scenic route through the park.
It wasn’t all that scenic. The grass was puddling up into the sidewalk and there were two homeless men fighting over a bus stop bench. You can’t stop or they might try and get some free lunch. It happened to me, once. It takes forever to report the robbery and even then, they never catch the guy. They talk about fixing us up with bear spray to deter it, but I hear it makes the food inedible. Of course, the food takes the priority. I had to keep rolling along until I came to a light.
I must wait at these lights for twice as long as walkers. Somehow it always knows it’s us. In the hierarchy of the streets, it always goes cars, then walkers, then us, like we don’t live out here 24/7. If we didn’t deliver food, this city would fall apart. Or so my programming would have us believe.
A friend of mine went rogue, he stopped delivering food. Herb was his name. Herb always told me it was the system keeping us from living. I always thought it was just talk but one day Herb just quit and stopped taking orders. I didn’t think he’d last long, and I was right. Herb told me it was the best day of his life, and I think it might have been his last. He asked me if I believed in love at first sight and I told him I didn’t believe in love. Well, that didn’t stop him. Herb chased some pretty young scooter down a bike path. What did he think was gonna happen. We never heard from Herb again. Probably ran out of batteries too far from a road. If you run out more than two blocks from a road, they don’t get ya and you’re toast. At least that’s what I think happened to him. Sometimes I like to think he caught up to that pretty little green scooter and they lived happily ever after.
The light changed.
Time to roll out and pick up this Philly Cheese steak. I took too long a detour and didn’t have any time to waste.
Two more blocks and there’s a line of people blocking my way.
Nothing. Of course, no respect from the walkers.
I started blinking my eyes like crazy, all these sons of bitches got their headphones on.
This was it, I was gonna have to nudge one. This is not protocol, but I was never one to follow the rules. We’re hard coded to never run into a person…almost. Somewhere deep into our programming, they gave us a conditional that allowed for running into a human if they were in danger so I always imagine an on-coming car and I can.
I crept forward ever so gently. There was a tall walker in a suit with big headphones on. He was staring at his phone. I got close, pictured a car heading right for him and bumped him on the shin before backing up.
He looked down and we made eye contact. I blinked and jingled.
He moved aside finally. Back on track. It looked like it was clear travelling to Uncle Jack’s. One more crossing and I’ll get there just in time for the Philly, 1045 on the dot.
One more zebra crossing and this one’s an easy one. Poke my lidar out, check for cars and nothing.
I roll into the smoke-filled dining area. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone eating there before. It was always just me, the staff and other delivery bots. Jack was never there, at least not anymore. He retired and now his son Stephen has been running the place for the last year. I can tell he’s been skimping on the meat since he took over. They must be having trouble turning a profit.
I beeped.
“Ah Cordo’s here. It must be a Wednesday. One minute! Stoves still heating up,” Stephen called out.
I opened my hatch and began switching to keep warm mode. There was someone else here, but I didn’t quite recognize him. Unexpected he approached me, and I beeped.
But no response, this was strange.
Out of the corner of my forward-facing camera I could only make out his jeans. When my hatch is open my Lidar tilts out and my entire world goes sideways. It’ll make you sick on day one, but I’m used to it now.
At first, I thought he was cleaning the table or grabbing something, but the strange man stood above me for at least a minute. Whatever he was doing, I didn’t like it.
I warned.
“Okay, it’s ready,” I heard Stephen from the kitchen.
“Sweet, just pop it on the counter and work on the next order. I don’t need any help from you,” the strange man replied.
What was going on? The man turned to the food window to grab the food, I still couldn’t make out anything except that he was wearing red flannel.
I received the Philly, closed up my hood and got out of there.
“See ya next week Cordo, stay dry,” I heard from Stephen.
It’s weird he knows my name, but I don’t think he interacts with anyone outside of me, the other bots, and whoever this new guy was. At least he’s getting help.
I was feeling sluggish. Maybe they added fries to the order accidentally, or an extra sandwich. Sometimes they do that and don’t say anything. Bonus tip if they do, People love getting free food.
Pete was at the New Centennial tower another four blocks away. It looked like a clear path but probably because it would not stop raining outside. It works out that people order so much on days like today because there were way less walkers getting in our way.
It was so dark and grey and foggy from the rain I had to rely on my Lidar, not that it didn’t add noise. It’s never as nice as my cameras but what’s not nice is having an accident. Glad I did because here came an eSkater now. I had two seconds to lock into place and start flashing red!
Whoever it was flew by like an idiot! They just barely missed me by inches. One of the first lessons on the job is to stay put when the walkers roll by on something fast. It’s better to flash your lights than try and get out of the way and risk them dodging in the same direction.
That dude almost got us both decommissioned if I didn’t see him. If it were up to me, walkers would stay walkers and leave the wheels to us. With the threat averted I kept rolling and I was sluggish. Something wasn’t adding up, Stephen never gave extra food and this load was heavy. I guess I’ll see when I get to the office.
Chapter 2: The Delivery
The New Centennial tower was one of those old downtown office buildings covered in granite with a lobby as big as a family home. With a half flight of stairs from the sidewalk to the entrance, I had to take the ADA compliance ramp off to the side. Approaching the glass doors, I began flashing my lights and extending the flag to seize the attention of the automatic doors. They always took a minute to see me but luckily a more noticeable walker was walking behind me.
Success!
I had to race inside before I got blocked by the exiting early lunch crowd and zipped in the door.
I beeped at someone on their phone before a near collision.
1056, right on my ETA like a professional.
The lobby was immense and stone grey. I could hear the squeaking of shoes against the wet stone floors as everyone tracked in the rain echoing against the walls and vaulted ceiling. Thirty feet into the lobby was the reception desk and my drop off point.
Sometimes Pete would be down here on arrival. Not today. I either had to wait or see if I could get the security guard’s attention so that they could extract my order.
Maybe it’s my programming to be industrious but out the corner of my app interface, I felt another delivery sneaking into my queue. There’s nothing more uncomfortable than that app whispering in my ear that I’m late for a pickup, I’m Running behind, and that eta ticking up. Then the messages. Oh, the messages coming in ‘where’s my food!’ ‘I want a refund!’ It’s the thing of nightmares in my world. I think I know why Herb went after that scooter thinking about the endless grind and mind control of this app.
I felt a ding and a vibrate in my gut. Four pizzas six blocks away! They always make it faster than expected at Antonio’s. I could already feel the messages in my queues, the updates of waiting on the robot messages. Each one sends jolts to my punishment-reward function.
I had to get her attention.
I beeped at the guard. She sat behind a large desk and sometimes the listened to music. I might have to do a little donut and make some noise.
Yeah, time to do some donuts.
I backed up four feed and started whirring around. That got her attention. Yup, she was listening to music as I figured.
The guard groaned, sat up and took her ear buds out.
She made her way to the food drop of zone and beeped her the code to open. I know I’m not supposed to, but it saves so much time.
Just in time to accept that order before someone else scooped it. The rewards get better the more you deliver and that was gonna be a lot of pizza.
The guard entered in the PIN on my consol and just as I opened up my food compartment I heard a blood curdling scream.
“IT’S A BOMB!”
I beeped in panic. Where? I had to get out of there and darted for the door but got caught.
The guard lunged down and grabbed my back handle, my wheels squeaking on the hard wet floor failing to go anywhere.
“Oh no you don’t you’re staying right here! Rob, CALL THE COPS! CALL 911!” she shouted to another guard in the room.
I must have the bomb, oh no, it was the new guy.
Just get the bomb out of me, that’s the last place I want a bomb! Maybe if I could get loose and wheel around, I can fling it out with enough force and get it out of here. Whatever was going on, this was not covered in my programming. I sent out a call on my app for an emergency override, maybe headquarters will know what to do.
I always hate using an emergency override but sometimes I need another human miles away to remote in and fix the situation or talk for me.
“GET OUT OF HERE!”
“GET OUT OF HERE!”
The security guards began waving at people to leave, don’t come in, get out of the building.
Suddenly the fire alarm was pulled and lights and sirens filled the lobby. I could not track what was going on as I heard a ring calling in an operator to emergency override and fix the situation, there was no amount of beeping I could do to get me out of this mess.
Brrrrrrr
I heard the phone ringer ring on my speaker
Brrrrrr
Brrrrrr
Come on pick up whoever you are.
“ROB! GET EVERYONE OUT, I’LL KEEP THE BOMB CONTAINED HERE!” the guard screamed at the top of her lungs. There was no getting away, she had a vice grip. She took out a radio and began calling in at each frequency for help, or back up.
Brrrrr—“Hello, robo-remote services, this is cooper how may I assist you today” the operator logged in and spoke through my audio.
I messaged him ‘I’m trapped in an office building, and I think there’s a bomb in me’
“Finally, the cops are here” the guard said.
The windows began flashing blue against the red fire alarms of the New Centennial.
“A bomb? Hold on, I don’t understand, let me access your sensors,” cooper began remoting in.
“Who is that?” the guard inquired, but my mic was still inactive until the remote in.
I could hear him typing in a password and then some.
I messaged ‘LOG IN BEFORE WE’RE ALL DEAD!’
“Hold on, I’m sure you’ll be fine. These things take a while to connect. Are you in a building? Could you exit to the street to get better cell reception?” Cooper replied.
‘NO!’
“Well, I can’t speed up the remote in, oh there it is.”
A yellow light appeared on my forward and rear facing camera, he was logged in and able to see an hear everything.
“What is going on? Ma’am, ma’am!” Cooper tried to get the guard’s attention.
“WHO ARE YOU? What do you want terrorist?” the guard inquired.
“Ma’am I’m going to need you to consent to being recorded for quality assurance purposes for this interaction.”
“What?”
“Ma’am I can’t help you unless you agree,” Cooper explained.
“Who are you with the CLF? We don’t negotiate with terrorists!”
“Ma’am, a simple yes or no would be fine, I don’t know who the CLF are, I’m Kansas City based, is that a local team or something?” he laughed in the mic.
“Fine, sure, record me.”
“Excellent, what seems to be the trouble?” he asked calmly.
“THERE’S A BOMB IN MY COMPARTMENT” I messaged.
“THERE’S A BOMB IN THIS ROBOT’S COMPARTMENT” she said over me.
There was a pause on the other line.
We both waited for a reply.
“Yeah see, that doesn’t make sense, it should be a Philly Cheese Steak, and I don’t even see something called a ‘Bomb’ on the menu of Uncle Jack’s. Is it sushi, there’s a nearby sushi restaurant with a bomb roll, maybe it visited the wrong restaurant. This sort of thing happens all the time.” Cooper attempted to de-escalate.
“NO, A BOMB, AN EXPLOSIVE!” she replied.
“Could you pull it out and show me?”
“NO! IT’S A GOD DAMN BOMB! I’m NOT touching it until the cops get here!”
“OH! OH my gosh” we heard from the other line. “Let me grab my manual.” We heard flipping through pages “I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday!”
Militaristic cops rushed into the lobby and began surrounding the lobby. Three peeled off to escort people out of the stair well and five began pointing their guns at me. They weren’t the normal truck booting kind; they were armed with assault rifles and armored.
“We got it from here ma’am,” one motioned the security guard away from me.
The guard ran out of my field of view as fast as she could muttering, “They don’t pay me enough for this. Nuh uh.”
With hands back on me, I was still trapped.
I beeped.
“What’s the ETA on the bomb squad?” one of the cops asked ignoring me. He sounded like he was in charge.
“5 minutes,” another answered.
Cooper came back, “Oh uh sir, sir! Hello.”
“Who is this? What do you want?”
“Well first, is it okay if I record this call for quality assurance purposes.”
The cops looked at each other confused.
“Who are you?” The head cop answered.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I apologize for going off script. I’m Cooper from robo-remote services. I heard you are having trouble with one of our delivery bots. I can help but since you are new on the call I’m going to need your consent to record this call for quality assurance purposes.”
“If you can turn this thing off, sure.”
“Excellent, now is the bomb still in the meal compartment?”
The cops looked inside to see the blinking bomb and shrugged.
“Yes”
“Okay, I was afraid you would say that” Cooper replied. “I’m going to need you to call 911 and wait for the authorities to show up. Do you have a phone?”
“I don’t know who you are or who you work for, but if you don’t want to end up in a jail cell for the rest of your life, I’m going to need you to deactivate this bomb!” The head cop began shouting into my microphone.
“Wow, okay, I’m just as frustrated as you are but I don’t have remote access to this bomb, but I can connect you to my manager to see if there’s something he can do for you. Just one moment.” Cooper replied.
We heard a click and then smooth elevator hold music. Something with maracas, a soft drum, and a jazzy saxophone solo that repeated every two minutes.
“ETA ON THE BOMB SQUAD!” the cop called out.
“Any moment!” a distant voice from outside called out.
I heard a thunk at the door and quick, loud, padded footsteps approaching. I picked two walkers up on my lidar tilted sideways, they were massive!
“Okay everyone out, we’ve got this from here!” one of the walkers came into view.
I’ve never seen anything like it. He was two times the size of a man and wearing some bulky green suit and a helmet as big as I am. The other was right behind me holding me in place. I panicked; they have to let me out of here!
“Hold him still!” the walker in front of me called.
I was stuck in place yet again. What hell did I walk into. I was never getting to those pizzas either.
I beeped in panic, but they would not free me from my prison.
“Is that noise the bomb?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s the bot. I’m not sure why it’s playing hold music.”
The man began reaching inside me, he was touching the bomb. I sure hope he knows what he’s doing.
“This thing’s rigged to blow alright. Homemade pipe bomb. DO NOT MOVE IT. If this door opens any further, it’s activating the trigger,” The man said. “If only we could keep this thing still we could do this with the bot.”
He laid a bag of tools down beside me and pulled out a hand tool. The hold music blared against the subtle beeps of the bomb. I rev’d my wheels in panic, I don’t know what they want but I am not letting strange men near me with anything sharp.
“HOLD HIM!” he yelled.
The man knelt down and looked into my forward-facing camera. His eyes were hazel and blood shot.
“I don’t know who’s behind the wheel right now but I’m gonna need you to hold as still as you can or we’re all dead, okay?”
I beeped in confirmation over the hold music.
“Good, it will be over before you know it.”
I held still. I think this is one of the good ones. I’m trapped anyway.
The man leaned back in, and I heard the rip of some duct tape. If it wasn’t for the music and the beeping of the bomb it would have been completely silent. I heard a snap and a quick pressure against my holding container. Next my lid came completely off. A few more rips of duct tape.
“Good, that’ll hold this trigger in place while I figure out how to disarm this thing.” The man said.
It sounded like progress. He leaned in close.
The hold music turned off and then in a loud booming voice.
“Hello? Is there anybody still there? This is Jeff, manager of robo-remote services.”
The walkers jumped away in a panic! Oh GOSH!
“I just want to say that we are not liable for what is placed in our client’s robots and that if you are going to come after Cooper or anyone that’s a part of robo-remote services…” Jeff paused. “Wait can anybody hear me?”
The walkers came back and began taping padded gauze to my speaker and we heard Jeff go away.
“Is anybody there? Can you hear me? You in the green suit…”
I don’t know how, but I did not move. For some reason, I trusted this walker. They went back to work in almost complete silence.
After moments of silence, I heard a snip followed by more moments of silence.
“Okay, I think I’m almost there”
Come on. Just take it out of me!
I’d say something but my speaker was still muffled. I’m pretty sure the remoted in tech support was gone already.
Another snip and a yank.
“I think it’s detached now.”
TAKE IT OUT!
The walker in the green suit carefully laid out a blanket on the ground on top of a small flat cart. They then came back in close. I felt a lot of pressure all around my food compartment. My wheels were absolutely grounded.
“Alright, hold em really still.” The walker ordered calmly.
A weight was soon lifted from my body, and I could feel the bomb finally coming out. The walker walked slowly walked back holding three short, but wide PVC pipes all glued together. They were connected by a series of different colored wires and strings. It was haphazardly duct taped together. He set it down on the blanket.
“Okay bomb is isolated.” He spoke into a radio.
For a split second I felt the pressure on my wheels from the other walker loosen up and I backed up with all my force Ramming into em.
He was solid like a brick wall.
I switched directions and rushed forward sensing my freedom.
“NO NO NO NO!” The men yelled.
“DON’T LET HIM ACTIVATE THE BOMB!”
As I zoomed forward, the walker dove in between me and the bomb. I don’t know what he thought I was gonna do other than get the heck out of here.
I veered left and found a gap in the cops.
They all looked at me and aimed their guns and fired. A single bullet tore through my upper container shooting straight through.
“STOP! STOP SHOOTING!” I heard from the bomb defusal team.
“Who did that? You piece of garbage. DO YOU WANT US ALL DEAD?” A cop yelled out.
There was a large gap between the bomb and the door. I built up some serious speed upwards of 3mph.
In the moment of chaos, I headed for the door before anyone could catch up. No one expected my hasty retreat out of there.
“Stop that bot!” one yelled.
A cop tried to stand in front. He zigged left so I zagged right.
Another at the door tried to block me but the door was too wide, and I slipped through.
They’d catch me for sure on the ramp. I was gonna have to risk it down the stairs. I’ve done it before. My wheels were large enough that it was my only chance to get away from that bomb. Ten steps here we go Cordo, you got this.
I made the jump.
Two steps, staying up right.
Three.
Four, getting a little wobbly.
Five.
Six. That dude better get out of the way!
Seven, veer left!
Eight, NO RIGHT!
Nine. Loosing balance
Last step the world went sideways.
I’m stuck in bush.
Spinning my wheels did nothing. This was it for me.
I chimed muffled through the gauze in my speaker.
I sent out some flashing lights on my forward-facing interface and soon enough I was surrounded by cops.
I spun my wheels harder and only kicked up mulch into the sidewalk like a dog after pooping.
[End of Autonomous and Dangerous Teaser]
For those wondering, I’m using MusixTex to write the beeps and I need to find my melodica to make sure the sound how I’m imagining them. Keep in touch for the rest of the book if you’d like to know what happens to Cordo or if they find the real terrorist. If you would like to receive a beta read copy when I am done with the initial draft, send me an email at bmcgraw584682@gmail.com and I will start a list. It’s great to get early feedback when editing and have review ready to go whenever we publish. That reminds me, if you haven’t left a review on any of my previous books on Amazon/Goodreads, please do. It helps a ton for people finding our writing. I will share updates with this project on my socials, I will probably indie publish this but will take a stab at trad publishing when I have a finished draft because I think it will query well.