Erasmus G. Boomfork and Günther Schlonk
Abstract: IUPAC currently recognises 118 chemical elements. The last twenty have half-lives shorter than Australian prime ministers, and are of equally limited utility to science. However, physicists have predicted that an island of nuclear stability may exist around element 126, containing long-lived isotopes. We propose that this island is actually 400 light-years away.
Introduction
Neutron stars form when stars with a mass more than about eight times that of the Sun are no longer able to support fusion in their cores and collapse under their own gravity. This collapse generates a body of neutron-degenerate matter with a radius as small as 10 km, but a mass comparable to our Sun’s. As such, they are the densest known material outside of Twitter, at around 1017 kg/m3. For American readers unfamiliar with SI units, that means a pair of truck-nuts1 made of neutron star would weigh as much as ten million aircraft carriers. This is a result of their unique structure. The colossal gravitational pressure beneath the star’s thin crust crushes atoms together until they break down into their constituent particles, forming a nuclear mosh-pit. Within the pit, the particles are further compressed until protons and electrons combine, and a “neutron soup” is obtained. The nature of this soup is debated, and it has been variously characterised as “baryonic bisque” and “consommé of quarks”.2,3 A more reputable source (the Wikipedia page), describes the interior of a neutron star thus: “When the density reaches a point where nuclei touch and subsequently merge, they form a fluid of neutrons with a sprinkle of electrons and protons”.4
The contempt that physicists hold for chemistry is well established (see the Ince-Cox phenomenon).5 It is therefore unsurprising that physicists haven’t recognised the grander implications of their studies. If, in the interior of neutron stars, atomic nuclei merge to generate matter comprised of protons and neutrons, then they are giant atoms. Furthermore, they are the heaviest elements ever recorded, by about 45 orders of magnitude.
Calculations and Discussion
Let us consider the closest neutron star to earth: RX J1856.5- 3754 or “Rex” for short. Rex appears in the constellation Corona Extra, about 400 light-years from earth (Figure 1).6
Rex has a comparable mass to our sun, at about 9 × 1029 kg, and is about 20 km across. Its average density is therefore 6 × 1016 kg/m3, which is comparable to the density of atomic nuclei (1017 kg/m3).
It is a truth universally acknowledged that no physics problem is complete unless some major component of reality is excluded to simplify the numbers. As such we have elected to ignore the star’s crust (which contains intact atomic nuclei) and the inner core (because no-one knows what goes on in there). Instead, we have assumed that Rex is comprised of a uniform nucleon fluid, with protons, neutrons and electrons in an idealised 1:8:1 ratio.7 This assumption will have to stand until cosmic-scale mass spectrometers can be developed.
As electrons poses negligible mass, this means that protons comprise 1/9th of the mass of Rex. Therefore, by dividing 0.9MRex by the mass of a proton (10-27 kg), we obtain an atomic number of Z = 1056. The remainder of the mass is comprised of 8 × 1056 neutrons.
This makes Rex quite a heavy isotope of element 1056, and this is reflected in its molar mass of 5.41 × 1056 g/mol. So where does element number 1056 fit on the periodic table? By ignoring the contribution of the g and higher orbitals, we have assumed that elements heavier than oganesson will simply fit into one of the existing 32 groups, and thus that the periodic table will just extend further down in the same shape. If this is so, then element 1056 will be in group 10 of row 3 × 1054.
Assuming a periodic table in which each element is represented by a 1 cm by 2.5 cm rectangle, 40 rows of 32 elements will take up one meter of space. At this scale, a periodic table incorporating element 1056 would need to be 7.82 × 1052 meters long. This is problematic, because 7.82 × 1052 meters is about 1037 lightyears, and the universe is currently estimated span a mere 93 billion lightyears. As such, the new periodic table would be a quadrillion times larger than the observable universe.
The universe is expanding, however, which is good news for chemists and first-home buyers. The rate of this expansion is apparently about 73 km/s for every million parsecs of space, which corresponds to 2 × 106 km/s across the entire universe.8 At that rate, the universe will be able to accommodate the new periodic table in about 1034 years.
If RX J1856.5−3754 is indeed a new element, then it requires an official name and symbol. This will have to be formalised by IUPAC, but we have taken the liberty of preparing some suggestions. Naturally, our first thought was “rexonium” in reference to the first characters of the stars name. This is an unsustainable system, however, as most neutron stars do not have such convenient names. In tribute to element 1056’s enormous size, we devised some names based on giants from mythology and popular culture (Table 1).
While these names are certainly charismatic, astronomers estimate that there are a million neutron stars in our galaxy, which will each require a unique appellation. A systematic nomenclature is obviously necessary, and two such systems have been used previously. Using Mendeleev’s approach, element 1056 would be “ekaekaekaeka…darmstadtium” This is obviously impractical, because you would have to write “eka” 3 x 1054 times. We instead recommend that the existing IUPAC rules be extended, and that element 1056 be called ununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununnunununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununununullium.
With the admin out of the way, it is now time to speculate about the chemical properties of the new element. At first, this might seem like your dentist asking you if you’re free at 3:15 on a Thursday afternoon in 2057, but the periodic table is more organised than your calendar. Being in group 10, we might expect element 1056 to predominantly exhibit 2+ and 4+ oxidation states, and to participate in carbon-carbon cross- coupling reactions. This is unlikely however, because astronomical observations of neutron stars indicate that they do not behave like conventional atoms.
To appropriately study this exciting new branch of astrochemistry the authors have formed a new research institute the Centre for Unstable Neutron Transient Structures (CUNTS). This new institute comprises of two research groups the Baryonic Investigation Group (aka BIG CUNTS) and the Baryonic And Dark Matter Focus (aka BADMF CUNTS). We’re very proud that the exceptional nature of this research group is already being recognised with Amnesty International awarding CUNTS the 2024 Most Inappropriate and Offensive Acronym Award. While pleased to receive international recognition we have not been able to identify any offensive acronym usage and have invited Amnesty International to come and view our Award of Registered Sociopaths Equity (ARSE).
The established starting assumption for the work of CUNTS is that element 1056 does not have electron orbitals, in the conventional sense. This is because its nucleus is so large that it has completely engulfed the orbitals, meaning the electrons within are probably unavailable for bonding. This may make element 1056 behave more like a noble gas than a transition metal. To experimentally verify this hypothesis, we proposed to send chemists to RX J1856.5−3754, but the ARC rejected our grant.
In lieu of empirical data, we employed DFT to probe the chemistry of element 1056. We began at the ad infinito level of theory, but our calculations were due to finish in 9.98 x 1034 years, about three days before the universe could encompass the new periodic table. Instead, we used the BFeLYP5-XXX(BJ) functional and the cc-MTV–dodeca-zeta basis set with turbocharged diffusion, overclocked orbitals and dual- polarisation straight-piped into a chrome-plated Hamiltonian. When simulating the electron dynamics of element 1056, we found it necessary to add a term to the Schrödinger equation, to account for the gravitational pull of the nucleus:
With these parameters, we were able to optimise the structure of some simple complexes of element 1056 (Figure 3). We observed that the metal-ligand bonding was almost entirely gravitational in nature, with minimal contributions from electrostatic interactions.
Inspired by this observation, we also considered the possibility of homonuclear molecules formed from element 1056. The simplest such compound, (Element 1056)2, can only be stable if the two nuclei are prevented from merging to form element 2 x 1056. We predict that this may be possible if both nuclei are moving at ~20 km/s, at an average distance of 10 million kilometres from each other. Such a binary system would contain the longest bond in chemistry, at 100 quintillion angstroms (Figure 4). Binary neutron star systems have been observed, suggesting that heteronuclear compounds of other superheavy elements are also possible.
Finally, we considered the nuclear stability of our new element. Rex is radioactive in the literal sense because it emits radio waves. Estimating its half-life is challenging, however, as there is only one atom of it. Given that Rex has existed for at least one million years, we can speculate that it is relatively long-lived, but until we find many more neutron stars of exactly the same mass, we can’t be sure. We can rule out alpha decay as a viable decay pathway, because the average speed of alpha particles (20,000 m/s) is significantly less than the escape velocity from Rex’s surface (0.54 c).
Conclusion
We have presented compelling evidence that neutron stars should be considered as giant atoms, and that the closest neutron star to earth (RX J1856.5−3754) is actually element number 1056. Furthermore, we have determined that the universe is not currently large enough to accommodate an appropriately scaled periodic table, and won’t be for ten decillion years. We hope this paper will prompt someone to go to RX J1856.5−3754 and count its protons, so we can confirm exactly which element it is. And if someone wants to name it after us (or any of the BIG CUNTS collaboration), who are we to refuse?
Acknowledgements
We thank the management of the Alien-Life Molestation Array (ALMA) for allowing us to piss around with their telescopes, while they were having lunch.
Notes and references
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truck_nuts
- “Recipe for Baryonic Bisque with Gamma-Ray Garnish” J. Oliver,K. Thorne, G. Ramsay, J. Kepler, 2013, Journal of CulinaryCosmology, 5, 180–210.
- “Consommé of Quark with Higgs Croutons” N. Lawson, E. Hubble,A. Bourdain, J. A. Harriot, 2019, Journal of American AstrologicalSociety, 7, 666–667.
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neutron_star
- “Chemistry is Just Physics for Dullards” B. Cox, R. Ince, Journal of Infinite Monkey Logistics, S12, E4, 16:27.
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RX_J1856.5%E2%88%923754
- https://tinyurl.com/f5nwuxpy
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expansion_of_the_universe